The Joker's New Joke
by I'mJustMeAJ
Summary: 'AU: What if Tom had a brother and said brother was the Clown Prince of Crime? What if Harley Quinn was months into her pregnancy and gave birth to her child in Blackgate and said child was taken away? Would this child still be like their parents when their reunited' This is more of a side project and if anything won't be taken that seriously but enjoy, I guess
1. Chapter 1

The Joker paced back and forth in his room full of computers, laptops and old TVs. He was planning and plotting but everything that he came up with seemed like crap. He needed a plan and he needed one fast before it's too late; not for no he was fine it's his daughter his worried about. His newborn baby girl who his wife gave birth to hours earlier in her prison cell.

He watched it all and wished he could be next to his two girls but he knew that Harley knew he was watching. She managed to keep her pregnancy from other inmates and guards somehow then processed to keep from being found out by not making a sound while giving birth. On October 31st of 1979 his daughter Harmony Jacklyn Quinzel-Napier was born in Blackgate prison at the stroke of midnight on Halloween's early morning day. His wife held their child for hours after doing the best she cleaning wrapping the child in the cleanest cloth she had. Since the baby didn't cry the Joker assumed the worst until his daughters eyes opened and she stared back at her mother. At that moment Gotham City's most viscous serial killer, the Clown Prince of Crime, cried tears of joy. He had a daughter but he knew sooner or later prison guards would check on his wife and will take his baby on sight. Of that is exactly what happened six hours after Harmony was born.

So because of all this, of course, leading him to start pacing like a mad man. He didn't know where they would take Harmony but he knew that she would end up in the wizarding world regardless. He could only hope that she ends up where he was born with his younger brother Tom Napier-Riddle, London, England. While his brother took Riddle from their fathers hyphenated last name he took Napier. Their father was second generation pure-blood squib. The Joker hasn't been in the wizarding world since he graduated from Hogwarts but at the moment it seemed he had no other choice to go back. He needed to see his brother and ask for his help. He sent out a message to half of his guards telling them to go to London and keep an eye out for his daughter.

He picked up his wand, which lay next to Harley's that he also picked up, and with simple turn of his wrist he vanished in a cloud of black smoke. He was going to get his daughter back one way or another and he will never stop searching for her no matter how long it takes. Until he finds her there will be a very bloody trail in his wake but even after he finds her the blood shed will not cease.


	2. Chapter 2

_Past/ thoughts_

Mixed Batman Universes (comics, movies, etc.)

* * *

12 years later

Hermione Granger never felt so out of place in her life than she did at home. She was border line transgender, she knew she was a girl and accepted it but that didn't mean she acted like one. Aside from her gender Hermione was a boy through and through. She loved playing in mud, getting dirty and rough housing with her cousins she didn't care when they slipped and called her a 'he' and they don't either. Well she didn't, after fourth grade her cousins started making fun of her along with the other kids. Boys physically fought her but she always won even when they had larger numbers. She had proven to be physically stronger than them as well as smarter in cases when she turned them against each other and kept it that way for months on end. Because of her having muscle memory all she needed was to see a move done once and her body automatically knew how to do it. It really did come in handy when she would get jumped on the way home from school or on the way to school.

She had more reasons to feel out of place at home but the main one was adoption. She found out she was adopted and made since of why she didn't look like her parents. She had dirty blond hair with a dark green streak that she let hang as a bang from time to time. Had most people not seen her when she was growing up they would have thought her parents dyed her hair. But no it was all natural and they Granger's cut all her hair off one day sent it to a friend they had then watched in horror as the hair grew back within an hour. After that Hermione became a 'thing' then an 'it' and though they never beat setting as they left to the neighborhood kids, something she took in stride and never once did she let them get to her, or even let them think so, because in all honesty they didn't she always laughed at them. Whenever she was in a fight she didn't stop until she saw blood dripping from them but even then she wanted to keep going. She wanted to kill and keep killing but she couldn't not yet at least. She'd be able to soon and she had a feeling, a strong one, that she'll be able too soon enough. She stole from the Granger's, to make up for the way the treat her, and sold what she got from them on the black market even managed to make a few older friends. They dressed like normal people but their faces were painted like clowns which she found comfort in.

Today was like any other day for the Granger's, two ate in front of one and laughed in her face spewing words filled with hate and venom. The younger of the three paid the oldest two no mind as she read her book. As they tried hard to get a rise out of the girl the girl smirked and stood walking up stairs to her room and locking her room door. Her eyes never left the book in front of her and the smirk on her face never left. She finally placed her book down and walked to her closest pulling a grey tank top, a white zip up sweater with the Clown Prince of Crime, knee pads and orange cargo shorts. When her friend's gave her the sweater she figured they worked for him and while it should have bothered her, or because other people would have, she trusted them with her life. Since the Joker was 'dead', something she didn't believe for some reason, stores jumped at the idea of selling merchandise with his face on it that bothered her more than anything. The man is 'dead' and they just see him as a way to make money not caring that she was a person, even if everyone called him a monster. But the sweater she had on came from an old dusty box that had a sticker with her name, the newest thing one or in the box, on the top for her birthday last year. Hermione grabbed her wallet, which came with her sweater, made her way down stairs and out the front door. She didn't bother saying anything to the Grangers who watched her go out the front door. It wasn't like they cared about her come this fall she'd be out of their hair until the summer.

The Napier-Riddle siblings sat looking at each other than the chess board in front of them, neither in their faux personas. Seeing as both men were strategical by nature any game they played ended in a stalemate. The brothers had always made wagers in their games from leading raids, killing/torturing Aurors, killing/torturing muggles, killing/torturing traitors among other things. But seeing as their games almost always ended in a stalemate they did the wagers together as a form of bonding. An example would be the Halloween of 1981 with the party of one raid on the Potter's.

_Tom wanted to go and kill the Potter brat on his own but Jack refused to let him because he knew that Dumbledore would be in the Potter's home the moment he knew something was amiss. So like any other time they wanted to settle something they played chess with wagers. The wagers being: if Tom won he'd do it alone, if Jack won they do it together lastly if it was a stalemate Jack won he goes with Tom and only interfere if needed. Luck had seemed to be on the older brother's side seeing as the game ended in a stalemate. Tom had killed James quickly as his brother bound him to the wall then they both made their way upstairs to deal with Lilly Potter. Tom tried to keep his word with one of his most faithful follower, Severus Snape, even said the man still cared for her as a friend only to have her curse his name. Severus was like a son to Tom and it had annoyed him he had feelings for a mudblood but pissed him off to hear her curse his name when he wanted her speared. Lilly had put her son, Harry Potter, down in his crib and went to curse him when Lilly jumped in the way dying in her son's place. Just as Tom went to aim at the child again when his brother grabbed his arm pulling him down then disapparated back to Malfoy manor._

_They landed in a heap on the ground just as a spell shot out over their heads. This surprised both men who looked at the other with wide eyes. When they entered their Manor Jack explained why he grabbed his brother in the first place was because he the spell would not work seeing as there was a sacrifice for his victim which would have led to the spell back firing. He only went down in fear that Tom would have casted it faster than he could warn and didn't want his brother to get hit with his own spell; he had no knowledge of the second spell but had no doubt it was Dumbledore. The two were later joined both a groggy and pregnant Harley Quinn followed by an annoyed Bellatrix LeStrange; the latter telling them her husband, Rodolphus LeStrange and her brother in law, Rabastan LeStrange were arrested during their raid at the Longbottom's, a grey family, not long after they arrived. Bellatrix had went to stop them seeing as it wasn't a raid given to them by their Lord, Tom, to which the two male LeStrange's responded by hexing and cursing her. That had given the Longbottom's time to compose themselves and render the two men unconscious before send a house elf off with a house elf to Azkaban. The two Longbottom's then asked Bellatrix to be their sons, Neville, godmother which shocked Bellatrix but she accepted. And if that wasn't enough of a shock they told her that they were willing to help the Dark Lord and that if he wanted to test their loyalty they would be happy to comply. The light had taken to threating them for not choosing a side in the first war as well as not coming to the Light before the war started._

A girl no older then twelve, with blonde hair and a green streak, walked in a group of me with her hands shoved in her shorts pockets. Her hair was in a tight pony tail that was pulled to the left just below the center of her head. The sleeves of her sweater were pushed above her elbows; the sweater thought did not hide the fact that the girl had well developed muscles, more so then boys her age. Few of the men around her seemed to genuinely care for the girl, some saw it as a job, others a weakness if this girl was important to who they worked for. The group didn't do anything interesting the just went to a diner ate left and walked to an alley, where two boys were paid to jump the girl with them. Those who knew smiled as the girl leading them had no clue what was coming next. . . Or so they thought setting as the girl has dodged the two boys with ease.

The scene changed with the blond girl from the first scene and a blonde girl whose hair was lighter, almost white, and the lighter haired blond looked about a year or two younger than the other. The two were close to each other with the younger of the two against the wall while the older had one hand placed on the wall. Behind the older of the two student's bustled about paying them no mind as the two girls were lost in their world. As the halls slowly emptied the two girls stayed while the older of the two checked to make sure they were alone. Pulling the younger girl off the wall the oldest ran holding the hand of the girl behind her. The youngest held her school skirt down as it flew up while she ran with her best friend who wore pants and not a skirt. They were cutting class because her friend wanted to tell her something, something that she couldn't see when she looked into the future. They stopped by the Black lake where a blanket was set up with a basket and sat down together. They were quite for a while until the oldest spoke up.

"Lu-Len I really need to tell you why I bought you out here." Luna, or Lu-Len- one of many nick names- as her friend called her looked up, "I know that you and the female Weasel pig only broke up a few weeks ago, but Lu I've had a crush on you since half way throught my second year. But when I finally got the nerve to ask you out this year you told me female weaselbee asked you out. You seemed happy so I didn't say anything because you being happy is all I ever wanted for you to happy. I know this probably isn't the best way to admit my feelings for you but I just want a chance to be the one to make you happy." Luna looked at her friend shocked not really sure what to say, the girl in front of her was no doubt attractive. When she went to speak no words came out of her mouth, her friend only nodded before standing and walking back to school wiping her eyes.

"I love you-"

Looking at his brother Tom flipped the chess board, not in annoyed due the stalemate, simply for the hell of it. It wasn't like they would be playing anytime soon they had a lead on Jack's first born and wanted to take up on it before it went cold. Jack on the other hand was annoyed at the fact that for four years his men kept the fact that they had a lead from him and if it turned out to really be his child there will be hell to pay. Because that would be four years wasted and lied to straight to his face seeing as every two weeks since he asked for a status update ever since he arrived and received office word his daughter was in muggle London. He missed four years that he would have used to actually call her his little girl but she wasn't she's on the verge of teens. It wasn't fair to him while Batman was able to shack up with Catwoman a few times and have a kid but for him it was wrong!? _She was a villain at a point in time and while it didn't happen often she had her fair share of kills. Then she has a fucking kid with a guy she can't even remember while with Batman and puts up for adoption when Batman says he won't be with her if it's not his and she kept it. Holy fucking shit heroes are so ass backwards with life views. And while I beat my wife it was because she loved it and I mean really loved it she's a bit of a masochist and I'm a sadist; hopefully thought Harmony isn't a masochist._

Standing up Jack looked at his wife and their fraternal, by gender, twins Caleb and Vega with a small smile. He walked over to them then ruffled Caleb's blond hair with random green streaks then kissed Vega's green hair with a blond streak and kissed Harley. Tom on the other hand kissed his sleeping wife's forehead then his sons own who was sleeping as well.

"I'm going to check on that lead we got last week." Jack looked at Vega or more specifically her hair which was similar to his own. Running a hand threw his permanently green hair he smiled remembers how it got that way when he was in Hogwarts. He was making a potion to temporally change his hair color to green "For what the guys told me I know it is her for a fact. Her hair is the opposite of Vega's own. They said her name is Hermione which to me doesn't sound too far off from Harmony." Harley smiled at her husband and gently pushed him back telling him to go. He did walking backwards toward his brother then both of them apparated landing in a dark alley. They walked toward the end of it where they heard a lot of banging and some cheering, during the walk Jack put on his Joker make-up. When they finally got to the noise they saw a crowd of Jack's henchmen holding money in their hand yelling with a bunch of other men. Looking at each other the brothers made their way to the circle of men, many of them moving aside when they saw the Joker. Once to the front the brothers watched as a girl went up against two boys even with their punches being out of sync. They were wide and wild making them easy to block or dodge for the girl. But it was how the girl was dodging the swings that caught the brother's attention. The girl was switching from dancing to gymnastics to basketball crossovers just to confuse them. After a while the boy's swings became sluggish and the girl smirked. When the boy on her right swung his fist she caught it and twisted it as fast as she could making the boy fall to his knees screaming after a sickening crack filled the air. Some men flinched violently as the girl kicked the boy across the face making his head turn to the side and blood fly out his mouth. She grabbed the boy by his ears and brought it to her rising knee then threw him into the other boy to her left. Neither boy got up, not even the uninjured one.

"Come on Mitchell I can understand Kennedy staying down but you, you're uninjured. Which means," she walked over the two boys and dragged the one from the bottom by his hair to the middle of circle, "the fight goes on until I get bored." With that the girl grabbed another handful of the boy's hair and dropped to her knees slamming his head on the ground. Behind her the other boy, Kennedy, staggered forward going the girl only to get kicked in the knees when he was close enough. "Now now Kenny don't be a pussy where's the fun in that?" The girl looked over her shoulder while her leg was still sticking out. She flipped the boy in front of her over on his back and looked into his dazed eyes. She stood only to have arms wrapped around her waist which made her roll her eyes. She stomped on Kennedy's foot, threw her head back and elbowed him in the face each hit making his hold slip until the last blow. He stumbled back holding his face as the girls fist flew at his face then another and a last one to his liver. Men watching winced and cheered yelling 'Harm' over and over. With a smile the girl started to pirouette, knee slamming into the Kennedy's face as she picked up speed just as Mitchell knelt on the other side. With each spin her knee pads slammed relentlessly in tit the two boys' faces letting blood flow from their face.

The two boys fell to the side twitching and moaning in pain while the girl stopped and bowed. Roses were thrown and many men handed money to the Jokers henchman, to which the leader took from them quickly when he heard some say they'll keep it for themselves or give her nothing. The crowd cleared with men mumbling under their breath about the blond haired girl while the two boys were taken to the hospital. Tom watched his brother round up all the fight money and extra. He noticed one of the men glaring at Jack before running at him when his back was turned. Jack glanced over his shoulder subtly then back to the men in front of him waiting for the charging brute to get closer. The man never did but a loud thud was heard behind him and men laughing, even his brother chuckled, which made him turn around. There in front of him was his largest henchman laid out on the floor with his supposed daughter sitting in his back.

"Come on Brutes weren't you the one who said we were all family? You know brothers and all that good stuff." Hermione pulled both his ears and twisted them. "You said family don't attack family yet here you are going after 'dad' which means you're way out of line. Especially going after him with his back turned, but then again he still would have had you. Your approach wasn't exactly quite, brother." Hermione grabbed his nose firmly before pull it to the side as hard as she could. Brutes yelled in pain and went to hold his nose but screamed in pain again when one of his fingers were broken followed but another.

"You fucking little bitch." Hermione shook her head grabbing his ears again and made him look at Jack, who became the object of his attention. "Imma kill you, you fucking freak. Then I'm going to kill your whole family in front of you maybe even have a little fun with HarAaaaahhhhhhh-" Hermione twisted his nose again and tsked before slamming his head into the ground. Pulling it up again by what little hair Brutes had making him look at the Joker again.

"Now," Hermione looked at Jack with a smile he knows all too well seeing as he just left the woman it belonged to at home, "apologize to Mista J."


End file.
